what is the best sledgin you have ever heard

^^^^^

these are some of my favourites

>1. When Botham took guard in an Ashes match, Marsh welcomed him to the
>wicket with the immortal words: "So how's your wife & my kids?"
>
>2. Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne:
>As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had been
>waiting 2 years for another chance to humiliate him. "Looks like you
>spent it eating," Cullinan retorted.
>
>3. Glenn McGrath & Eddo Brandes:
>After Brandes played & missed at a McGrath delivery, the Aussie bowler
>politely enquired: "Oi, Brandes, why are you so fat?" "Cos every time I
>f**k your wife she gives me a biscuit," Brandes replied.
>
>4. Robin Smith & Merv Hughes:
>During 1989 Lords Test Hughes said to Smith after he played &
>missed: "You can't f**king bat".
>Smith to Hughes after he smacked him to the boundary:
>"Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can't f**king bat & you can't f**king
>bowl."
>
>5. Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad:
>During 1991 Adelaide Test, Javed called Merv a fat bus conductor. A
>few balls latter Merv dismissed Javed: "Tickets please", Merv called
>out as he ran past the departing batsman.
>
>6. Merv Hughes & Viv Richards:
>During a test match in the West Indies, Hughes didn't say a word to
>Viv, but continued to stare at him after deliveries. "This is my
>island, my culture. Don't you be staring at me. In my culture we just
>bowl." Merv didn't reply, but after he dismissed him he announced to
>the
>batsman: "In my culture we just say f**k *ff."
>
>7. Ricky Ponting & Shaun Pollock:
>After going past the outside edge with a couple of deliveries, Pollock
>told Ponting: "It's red, round & weighs about 5 ounces." Unfortunately
>for Pollock, the next ball was hammered out of the ground..
>
>Ponting to Pollock: "you know what it looks like, now go find it."
>
>8. And of course you can't forget Ian Healy's legendary
>comment which was picked up by the Channel 9 microphones when Arjuna
>Ranatunga called for a runner on a particularly hot night during a one
>dayer in Sydney... "You don't get a runner for being an overweight,
>unfit, fat c**t!!!"
>
>9. Can't remember the player or the exact details but went something
>like Mark Waugh standing at second slip, the new player to the crease
>playing & missing the first ball. Mark - "Ohh, I remember you from a
>couple years ago in Australia. You were sh*t then, you're f**king
>useless now". Kiwi - (Turning
>around)
>"Yeah, that's me & when I was there you
>were going out with that old, ugly sl*t & now I hear you've married
>her. You dumb c**t".

1.there was a county bowler who beat the bat of Viv Richards and dared tell him the ball was red and weighed about six ounces; Richards hit the next ball for six and replied: "You know what it looks like, now go f---ing find it."
2.McGrath to Ramnaresh Sarwan: "So what does Brian Lara's cock taste like?"
Sarwan: "I don't know. Ask your wife."
McGrath (losing it): "If you ever effing mention my wife again, I'll effing rip your effing throat out."

Fred Trueman bowling. The batsman edges and the ball goes to first slip, and right between Raman Subba Row's legs. Fred doesn't say a word. At the end of the over, Row ambles past Trueman and apologises sheepishly. "I should've kept my legs together, Fred". The reply is classic Trueman, "Not you, son. Your mother should've!"

classic from the master of sledging, Ian Healy:
Ben Hollioake had just made his debut, hitting Glenn McGrath in the process.
On his way back after finally being dismissed, Shane Warne cried: 'Hey, Ben'
Hollioake turned round expecting a pat on the back. Instead Healy came in from behind and said: 'Get back to the nets, you idiot.'

Shane Warne (Australia) to Daryll Cullinan (South Africa): "I've been waiting two years to humiliate you again." Cullinan: "Looks like you spent the time eating."

Malcolm Marshall was bowling to David Boon who had played and missed a couple of times. Marshall : “Now David, Are you going to get out now or am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?”

1993 - The Australian slip cordon allegedly greeted New Zealand batsman Chris Cairns with a chant of "Choo Choo" after his sister had just been killed in a train accident.
2004 - Australian leg-spinner Shane Warne was alleged to have called Ronnie Irani's mother a "whore".

i herd wetzel say bellend wen playin once

aye 2day

every day

wen aussies wer playin india shane watson waz sledgin sewag if a waz sewag a wud of knoked him oot

i wudnt really call sayin goodness gracious me sledgin

nar u bell he didnt jus say tht he waz doin it all thru the innings wen he waz bowlin, hes gay anyway

ana he is the best sledgin wos wen we wer playin cricket nd a was sledgin u

aye but ur sledgin iz propa wank

its nt quality but its nt bad

bowlin danish lol

its crap u use otha ppls (shabbash shabbash danish lol)

i dnt say tht paki shit tho n u fukin make sum up then u fukin cunt

a neva sledge u jus copy n u laff wen u say it anall

i was laughin wen i was sayin it 2 u but am gona sledge in sum matches n i wont b laughin then

aye its shit wen u du it 2 me but in a match it wud b gd

aye ana i was jus tekin the piss wen i dun it 2 u

it will be a crease

aye ana then i will fuk ya mas mas mas mas mas great grandma

bit ded lyk

aye ana like bens grandma

ok a think we shud go back to cricket sledgin lads

bit of sledgin 2 be done nxt season like

aye ana wen we rip it past the outside edge