aussies

Travellin’ on British Airways
Bald men with too much to say
Receding hair lines, they make me nervous
Those Pommies eat too much breakfast

They come from a land with no sun
They sit in pubs and have fat bums
Can you hear, can you hear them whinging
The next dole cheque their tours hinging

I met a man from London
5 foot 6 and had seen no sun
He said thieves were sent to our land
Thank God they didn’t send Tim Henman

And we say they come from a land with no sun
They sit in pubs and have fat bums
Can you see, can you see Warne Bowling?
P*ss off home and stop that singing

Living in a land down under
With sporting teams that never blunder
You sit in pubs and make rhyme
Without jobs you’ve got much more time

I can still Hear those Pommies Moan (I still call Australia Home – Peter Allen)

I’ve been to England I’ve travelled around
Through Bristol and Bradford and all those crap towns
But no matter how far or how wide I roam
I still hear fat pommies moan

Pommies love whinging or so it would seem
About weather or cricket or their sh*t Football team
But wait till those Ashes come back to their home
We’ll still hear those wankers, really hear those wankers, still hear those wankers MOAN!!!! (go up an octave and scream moan)

The Pommies Win Stuff all (Wonderwall – Oasis)

Today is gonna be the day Warnes gonna put a spell on you
By now you thickheads somehow realise what he’s here to do
I don’t believe that even Warney eats us much as you – stop eating now

Backbeat the word is on the street that none of you Poms have jobs
I’m sure you’ve heard it all before but why do you still act like knobs
Cos’ I don’t believe that anybody spills more beer than you – stop tipping now

And all the scalps that Warne will take will blind you
And all the runs that Rick will make reminds you
That there are many things that you would like to see Vaughan do but he don’t know how

But praying is the only thing that might save them
Cos with a ball, you Pommies win stuff all

are you zimbabwe, are you zimbabwe
are you zimbabwe in disguise
are you zimbabwe, are you zimbabwe
are you zimbabwe in disguise

heat and flies from 'stralia
going to steal your motivation
freddy thinks he has a chance
Dreams of scoring against our nation
please forget these kind of dreams
It's total domination

ashes comin back the
poms should stick to masturbation
The fun will start in the East
At least it will for the superior nation
It's understood that australia
brings total domination

poms better pray for rain
To break the spell of hayden
you poms dont seem to be a team
arent we the ones thatre ageing?

[Chorus:]
First ball quacker
ian bell just a hacker
fear our total domination
fear our total domination

let the the games unfurl then bring a message to the world
we're going to be in celebration
A win inside 3 days despite
a policy of rotation
gonna score the runs and count the tons
It's total domination

australia is a team to fear
hittin fours with superb placement
barmy army can u quit the cheers
Singing songs beyond interpretation
the white wash's not far away
It's total domination

freddy is fat wont raise his bat
shouldnt have left the station you know we're number one
and
this wont be no vacation

God save that hopeless team,
Like crap, their battings been,
The worst I've seen.
Whinging poms without hope,
As useless as English Soap, Or Warnie with no phone,
please shoot that team.

I'd rather be a saffer than a Pom
I don't give a kak where I'm from
Some play for King and Country
But I just play for money
I'd rather be a saffer than a Pom

I'dddddddddd rather be a p*ki than a Pom,
I'ddd rather be a p*ki than a Pom,
I'd rather be a p*ki
I'd rather be a p*ki,
I'd rather be a p*ki than a Pom.

Its been a long time commin'
To silence all that drummin'
To show them that it wasn't just a dream

They've beaten all the rest you know
And proven they're the best you know
The greatest team to wear the baggy green

Pigeon's pounding down like a machine
Dizzy's scarin' batsmen - lookin' mean
Gilly's gettin' wickets
Punter's clearin' pickets
And Warney's just the best we've ever seen

Come on Aussie, come on, come on
Come on Aussie, come on

Night or day, they're out to make us proud
To keep our flags a-wavin' in the crowd
Even gettin' zeroes
They'll always be our heroes
And keep us singin' come on just as loud

Come on Aussie, come on, come on
Come on Aussie, come on
Come on Aussie, come on, come on
Come on Aussie, come on

See 'em sprayin' leather at the bat
Sweetly crackin' winners through the gap
They're not just gettin' runs
They're out there smashin' tons
Spinnin' big time records back to back

Come on Aussie, come on, come on
Come on Aussie, come on

All summer we'll go floodin' through the gates
To try and get a look at cricket's greats
No matter what the season
We always have a reason
To shout out come on Aussie with our mates

Come on Aussie, come on, come on
Come on Aussie, come on
Come on Aussie, come on, come on
Come on Aussie, come on

we are at the G
just to see
if england can hit a ball
at all

SCUMMERS

you can't catch a sitter
ya know ya shoulda
but dropped through your hands and you stubbed your toe

OH NO!

we're new invincibles
we need no principles
pontings enough to play it rough

GOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOME
GOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOME
WE'RE SIIIIIITTING OOOON THE TTTTTHHHRONE
YOU SCUMS CAN'T WIN A GAME OF YOUR OOOOOWWWWWNNNNN!!!
YOU CANT EVEN WIN BURNT BAILS IN AN URN!

It's a marvellous day for a moon tan
With white Reeboks & track suit pants
A fantabulous day for that moon tan
Matches your buck teeth & combi vans
Ever find that
Aussie women seem to run away
From your
Body odour & your tooth decay

Got myself a yawning, boring, pasty, nagging, whinging pom
Got to do your best to leave her just cause she's a whinging pom
She's got a lazy eye & big fat thighs from all those chips & pies
She's not the only boring, pasty, nagging, whinging pom

you'd better watch out
you'd better not lose
cos by hte time we're done your best mate will be booze
for the fanatics are coming TO TOWN CLAP CLAP

we've won more than you
you smell like poo (just kiddin)
go back and
stay where it rains
cos the barmy army
can't sing
they're pains

we sing louder and prouder
it's hot
in pom it's not
the last plane is leaving in
10 minutes
so leave before the game is finished...

To the tune of Jesus Christ Superstar

Panesar, Panesar,
Wishes he was playing with Tendulkar,
Panesar, Panesar,
Are you as bad as they say you are?

To the tune of If you're happy and you know it

If you're Harmy and you know it bowl a wide,
If you're Harmy and you know it bowl a wide,
If you're Harmy and you know it,
then you find it hard to bowl it,
If you're Harmy and you know it bowl a wide.

Good old Collingwood (For the AFL fans)

Good old Collingwood forever,
God knows how he got a game
He's really only good at fielding,
Does Warney even know his name?
See the Barmy Army shouting,
They want him to do something good.
It's gonna be a long tour down under,
For good old Collingwood

To the tune of Que Sera

Saj Mahmood, Mahmood,
He bowls more than he should,
He isn't any good,
Saj Mahmood, Mahmood.

The Flintstones

Freddy, Freddy Flintoff,
Most over-rated player ever seen.
From the slums of England,
Worst English captain ever been.

Sesame Street
Sunny Day, In Oz, we're A-OK,
No chance here of a rain delay.
If the poms make it past three days,
It'll be a miracle.

Giles can you spin the ball?
Giles can you spin the ball?
Giles can you spin the ball?
no noooo

Or to the tune of polly put the kettle on (to the barmy army)

Pommies put your shirts back on
Pommies put your shirts back on
Pommies put your shirts back on
You're all fat bastards
Cover up those big fat guts
Cover up those big fat guts
Cover up those big fat guts
And those man boobs too

a h8 the aussies
a h8 the aussies
a h8 the aussies
coz they stink ov mattys ear lollol